Reel Deal Banquet Video 2009

Yes I occasionally make videos that aren't about Film Snobbery. Every year there is a TCOM banquet and all of the TCOM groups make their own banquet video. I wrote the script for The Reel Deal's video. This was directed by Keith Jackson and primarily edited by him. (I helped!) Everyone who was in this, is part of the cast or crew of the Reel Deal. Special thanks to Phil Bremin and Jeff Laub for their fun sense of humor.

Unfortunately I can have it embedded in this blog without the video being cut off, but luckily you can see the video here (and in high quality): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=070Rx9TqJgQ

Enjoy.

Explaining LOST - Some Like It Hoth

“Some Like It Hoth”

 

What? There’s a new LOST in a handful of hours and there was even a whole extra week to work on this and NOW I’m sending this out there. Yep.

So this week was a Miles episode. This was pretty obvious by the Miles flashback scene. A young Asian kid asks his mom for some change for the vending machine while they are trying to buy a lousy apartment. We know this is Miles because her mother says “No running, Miles!” She then proceeds to look directly at the character and explain this is Miles Strom from the island, but he is much younger. Finally we all understand. So Miles goes and checks out the vending machine, but is interrupted. He has images a dead body flash into his mind and he is drawn to the #4 room. (LOST number). He somehow knows that a key was under a stone bunny. This show loves bunnies. So young Miles cries out when sees a dead dude. His mom and the landlord comes. Then Miles decides to be really creepy and starts freaking out how he can hear the dead boy talk to him.

Flash to the island in 1977 where Sawyer and Kate are now leaving the Hostile territory. Now it’s been a few weeks. They just handed over Ben to Richard so Ben can take him to the Temple to get all better. So they are returning to Dharma town but Sawyer calls up Miles and tells him to destroy the security footage of them leaving with Ben. Sawyer says he’s now off the grid “looking” for Ben. Miles is about to destroy the tape when Horace walks in. Horace needs Sawyer but settles for Miles. He’s supposed to give a package to Radzinsky and deliver a package back. He has to go into Hostile territory to do this. He gets into his (Ooo ooo) Dharma bus and finds Radzinsky being his usual spastic self. I look at him and realize this is what would happen if Needlenose Ned from Groundhogs Day had a rougher childhood. So he gives Miles this dead body who “fell into a ditch.” Looking at the bullet hole in his head, Miles asks if the ditch had a gun. Alas, Radzinsky is not one for small talk. The body bag is loaded up and Miles is sent on his way, but he has one thing to do first. He opens up the bag and asks the corpse what really happened.

We flash back to Miles’s youth once again. He is a teenager or in his 20s with a very punk rock vibe with spiky hair and a whole lot of piercings. There are actually 108 piercings on his head. Don’t bother to count; just believe me. So he’s visiting his very sick mother. She’s dying and he wants to know about his past, specifically how he can talk to dead people and how she won’t talk about his dad. She says that his father is dead and he kicked them out when Miles was a baby. Miles wants to see his dad’s body and his mom said the body is in a place he can never go.

Ironic flash back to Miles on the island where he is waiting for Horace to get off the phone. Horace mentions that the death may be caused by electromagnetisms, which was the man focus for the Swan station or what everyone simply causes the Hatch. Now remember this is being built right now; it’s what Radzinsky was building a model for. Horace says that Miles now needs to take the package to Pierre Chang, the dude from all of the orientation videos. Miles walks out and sees Hurley is filling up the (Ooo ooo) Dharma bus full of sandwiches for everyone at the Orchid, which is where Miles is going. Hurley says they should car pool so maybe they can stop global warming, which further proves he still doesn’t get time travel.

Meanwhile Juliet and Kate catch up at the little hospital thing. Then Roger Linus walks in and notices that his dying son is no where to be seen. Juliet says that he has disappeared. Roger freaks out and starts yelling and then runs off to security. Then Juliet looks at Kate and says “Here we go.” So is this it? Is this the beginning of the end for them at Dharma town? Sure looks like it.

So Miles and Hurley are driving while Hurley is writing frantically in a journal. He asks how to spell “bounty hunter” and Miles asks if it is a memoir. Hurley won’t budge. They keep driving and then Hurley is upset about the foul smell in the car. He thinks it’s his sandwiches but when he goes to look he finds the dead body. Hurley asks what happened and Miles tells him that a filling in this man’s tooth flew out of its socket and went through his brain. First off, whoa. Second off, one of the coolest death concepts ever. Hurley figures out that Miles talks to dead people and he says he will keep his secret because he can talk to them too.

Flashback to Miles more around the age we know him now. He’s talking from a guy from the TV show Breaking Bad. The man has hired Miles to talk to his dead son and let him know that he loved him. Miles says he needs a body, but apparently the kid was cremated. He goes through some motions but the audience knows it to be fake. Miles says to the man that his son knew he loved him. Then as Miles is leaving, Naomi shows up! Oh come on, you all remember Naomi. She parachuted onto the island in Season Three from the freighter. Locke killed her, you know, because. She wants to talk to Miles.

Back in 1977, Roger is drinking beer on a kid’s playground, which I have recently discovered is still a crime today. What do you know. So Kate sits next to him and tries to give him a boost of confidence. He should have hope and whatnot. Roger starts to get rightfully paranoid and tells her to get out of there.

Meanwhile the best road trip duo ever are still driving. They are debating each other’s ability. Miles is shocked that Hurley can have long friendly conversations with dead people. Hurley gets the line of the night with “You’re just jealous that my power is better than yours.” This is what those X-Men movies should be like. Wait, the actor who played Miles was in X3. Oh what a terrible movie that was and—Oh they’re at the Orchid. The construction is underway. There is a lot of framework done and Pierre Chang seems to be in charge of stuff. Chang walks over and yells at Miles for not coming alone. Then he threatens to demote Hurley to picking up polar bear poop if he breathes one word of this. Hurley tells Miles that guy was a douche and of course Miles says that douche is his dad. I hate it when that happens.

Back in whenever, Naomi takes Miles to a dead body for an audition. She tosses him some cash and then Miles tells her what happened to him. Apparently this guy died on his way to Widmore with all of this info about empty graves and a purchase order for an airplane. Now remember this mystery. We have a fake Oceanic 815 plane in the bottom of the ocean and a bunch of fake graves for this flight. Now Widmore says that Ben made the fake plane and Ben says that Widmore did it. We still don’t know the truth. Naomi says that she is leading an expedition to an island and they need to find a man on that island. One way to find him is to ask the countless bodies on the island to where Ben’s hiding. Then she offers him 1.6 million dollars. 16 is a LOST number and also this makes sense now. Miles asked Ben for 3.2 for a counter arrangement and of course he just doubled the asking price.  Another pressing mystery solved. Next?

Back in 1977, Hurley wants to talk about Pierre Chang. Miles doesn’t. Yet Chang needs a ride to Radzinsky so off the three of them go again. Meanwhile Jack is cleaning up a classroom when Roger walks in. Roger wants to clean in order to distract him or something. Either way he threw a bucket of water again. This has been two episodes now when he’s made the room messier. This guy is the worst janitor ever. Jack cleaned up a chalkboard with mysterious Egyptian stuff on it and is about to leave when Roger asks him about Kate. He doesn’t trust her and thinks she has something to do with his kid’s disappearance. He asks Jack for advice and Jack simply says lie low.

Back in the (Ooo ooo) Dharma Bus, Hurley is asking Chang some stuff. He keeps getting Chang to talk about Miles and just about anything in general. Miles and Chang find it annoying especially when Hurley tries to get the three of them to get a beer later. They stop the van before they can say no so they can go to a secret location. Chang leaves to talk to Radzinsky and Hurley realizes where they are. He sees two Dharma construction workers filing some numbers onto a hatch door. Yep, it’s 4 8 15 16 23 42, which we see a whole lot of times throughout Seasons One and Two. Hurley tells Miles they are building the hatch that ultimately crashed their plane. Remember Desmond didn’t press the button in time one day and made the plane crash. I hate it when that happens.

Back in Miles’s past, he’s kidnapped after ordering a fish taco. A dude named Bram, who we actually know, kidnaps him. He was one of the guys on Ajira Flight 316. Ben didn’t kill him. Anywho, he tries to convince Miles not to get on that freighter. He asks Miles that question again “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” Now Lapidus didn’t know the answer and neither does Miles. By not knowing the answer, Bram says Miles shouldn’t go to the island. He says he if he agrees not to go, they will tell him all about his ability and his father. Miles gets grumpy and says he doesn’t care about that stuff anymore and asks for 3.2 million dollars. Bram and the boys toss him out of the van and then reminds him he’s on the wrong end.

Back in 1977, Miles and Hurley are driving back. Hurley tells Miles some things about the hatch. How there will be an accident and how they will have to build a computer to stop the world from ending. Foreshadowing! Back to the father issues, though. Hurley says this is fantastic that Chang is here for now Miles can actually get to know his father or be able to change his own diaper. Miles gets angry and says he doesn’t care about his father. He grabs Hurley’s journal to read what’s going on his head. Miles reads it and it’s the screenplay for The Empire Strikes Back. Yes! Hurley says that this is 1977 and Star Wars just came out. He figures George Lucas will be looking for a sequel and he figured he can help with a few changes from the original movie. 

Back in Dharmaville, Sawyer has returned to Juliet. Yet Jack is there too. Jack is there to pass on the news that Roger suspects Kate. Sawyer is grateful for being filled in. Then Phil walks up to Sawyer saying he knows who took Ben. He pulls out the tape Miles forgot to destroy and says it was Sawyer. So Phil decides to be a complete idiot and walks into Sawyer’s house before telling anyone else. So Sawyer punches him and tells Juliet to get some rope. And there it goes.

Back in Miles’s past he returns to the man from Breaking Bad to return the money. He admits to lying and says that if he should have let his son know that he loved him when he was still alive. Oh daddy issues.

Back in 1977, Hurley tells Miles the story of how he used to hate his dad but now they are the best of friends and he misses them. Miles still says no. Then Hurley says that was Luke Skywalker’s position too. He could have sat down and talked to Vader but instead he lost his hand. Hurley also throws in a jab against Ewoks, but Miles got the message. He walks over to Chang’s house to see him reading a book to Baby Miles. Yes it’s a picture book about polar bears. Of course it is. Big boy Miles starts to cry at the sight. He tries to walk away but Chang comes out needing a ride to the dock. The sub is back with scientists from Ann Arbor, which is where Dharma was created. Yet who gets off the sub? Daniel Faraday. 

L O S T

Yes! Faraday returns! This upcoming episode is all about him and from what I can tell…it’s going to be one nutty episode. This will be the 100^th hour of LOST, which is always a milestone for any TV show. Yet it’s also airing on the 100^th day of President Obama’s term in office. Hmmmm. Is there a connection? Of course there is. Obama is Jacob. You heard it here first.

Explaining LOST - Dead is Dead

“Dead is Dead”

Now I have often said the greatest thing is the world is hyperbole. So when I say this episode is the best of the season, you know that I mean what I say. I’m also going to say that Michael Emerson is among the very best actors working today and this episode continues to prove that point. We start off the show with a dude on a horse. Makes sense. He’s walking around the Other’s camp and walks up to Richard Albert rather upset that a boy has been brought into their camp. Richard says that Jacob wanted it done and the dude still seems a bit annoyed at that. So the dude goes up to the tent and sees Young Ben resting. He awakes and doesn’t remember getting hurt. He wants to stay with the Others. Then the dude says just because you are living with Dharma doesn’t mean that he is one of them. Then the dude reveals himself to be Charles Widmore. Oh yeah.

Flashfoward to present day on the island. Ben awakes to John Locke sitting next to him. Needless to say Ben is rather put off by that. Ben starts rambling off about he knew this would happen, but Locke doesn’t believe him. So Locke asks why Ben was scurring off to the other island. Ben says that he came back to the island to be judged by “the monster.” HOLY JACOB!

Back on the beach, the Ajira people are making a fire and basically repeating Season One except with less drama. Ben offers to help because he’s that awesome. Caesar asks how Ben’s doing and questions him about Locke. Then Ben continues his awesome streak by planting the idea that Locke was on the island before the plane went down. Caesar says not to worry because he has a weapon that appears to be a pop gun.

Flashback to the 80s when Ben is older and wearing a bad wig. He’s with a young version of Ethan and they are sneaking into Rosseau’s camp. He goes into her tent and accidently knocks over her music box. She wakes up and starts yelling that he infected her crew. Ben grabs her baby, which upsets Rosseau. (Kate should take notes.) Ben puts Rosseau at gunpoint and says if she wants her child to live she needs to stay put. Also he said the very mysterious line “If you hear whispers run the other way.” Another clue onto those mysterious whispers that seem to be appear whenever the Others are involved. He leaves and Rosseau cries.

Back in the present, Ben is searching around the office we saw Casear investigate a few episodes back. Locke walks in when Ben was taking out a picture of him and his daughter Alex. Locke mocks Ben for leading his people from an office and then decides to take a seat in it, which was a nice touch. Locke asked the big question of why did Ben kill him. Ben says he did it to make sure everyone came back. He said he stopped Locke from suicide because he needed his information first. Ultimately it’s all about the best interest of the island. Locke said he was just hoping for an apology, but Ben is silent. Then Locke says he wants to help Ben be judged. Ben looks really nervous.

So Locke and Ben start to uncover one of the long boats to head over to the main island. Caesar is a bit whinny though. He says that everyone should stay put. Also he said that Locke should explain why he knows so much about the island. Caesar starts to reach for his gun, but Ben has it. THEN HE SHOOTS CAESAR IN THE CHEST. He then throws the gun to Locke and says “Consider that my apology.” I love Ben. Yet look at that great LOST misdirection. The show sets up these Ajira characters and makes them mysterious. Who are they and what is their involvement to the main story? Yet the most mysterious one just gets blown away. Fantastic and truly unpredictable.

So Ben and Locke start to row over to the main island. They tie up the boat to the dock and Ben has a feeling of déjà vu. Locke notices the other boat at the dock and Ben tells him about Sun and Lapidus. Locke wonders if it was Sun who also hurt his arm. Ben says nope and leaves it at that. They start the trek over to Ben’s house for that’s where Ben knows how to summon the monster as we saw last season when he sic-ed it on the goons from the freighter. Locke says he doesn’t believe Ben about wanting to be judged for breaking the rules. Ben is surprised. Locke says that Ben wants to be judged for the death of his daughter. Ben has no retort.

Flashback to Ben bringing Alex back to his camp. Charles Widmore asks if Ben killed Rousseau. Widmore is rather annoyed that a baby was brought back. Widmore says the baby should have been killed off. Ben asks if that is what Jacob wanted and Widmore has no response. Ben hands over the baby to Widmore and tells him to kill it. Again, Widmore has no response and just walks away to also contemplate ditching his bad wig. Richard seems amused by all of this.

Back in the present Locke and Ben arrive at the Barracks, the former Dharma village. Locke wonders if moving in there was Ben’s idea. Ben basically admits it was. A light was turned on in Ben’s house and Ben is a tad freaked out, but don’t worry: Locke is calm. Ben looks around and finds Sun looking around. Then Lapidus walks in and shows Ben a Dharma picture with Jack and etc. Ben seems genuinely surprised by it, but then again he could be lying about that too. He also responded when Sun mentioned Christian’s name. Apparently Christian told Sun that if she wants to see Jin again they have to wait there for John Locke. Then they look out the window and see good ‘ole Locke waving back at them. Then Bruce Willis walks by.

So they all sit around staring at each other in confusion. Lapidus is freaked out and votes for going back to the plane. Locke says that he will help Sun find Jin so Sun stays with Locke. Lapidus wishes her luck and skedaddles. Yet before they can go searching for Jin, Locke reminds Ben that he has to be judged. So Ben pulls out his bookcase, goes into a secret room, goes into another secret room and into a tunnel. He goes down into the tunnel to find a pool of murky water. One may even say smoky water. He reaches down and pulls something and all the water goes down a drain. Seriously. This show rocks.

Flashback to Ben pushing a young version of Alex on a swing in the Barracks. So this is post-Dharma, pre-Oceanic. Richard stops by to tell Ben that the sub is about to leave. Ben and Richard go to the dock where the sub is located. Charles Widmore is being taken away. Apparently Widmore left the island and returned several time and had a daughter with an outsider. He broke the rules and so now he is banished. Ben says that he won’t be selfish, unlike him. Yet we know he too will leave the island at will since he has all of those passports hidden away. Widmore warns that Ben will be in the same boat as him one day. Okay I’m not meaning the sub, but a situation like boat. Then he gives the cool line “I’ll be seeing you boy.” Ben just stares as Widmore is taken away.

Back in 2008, Sun is sitting on the porch contemplating time travel and dead bodies. Apparently Locke left to go do something. Sun suggests that Jack lied about Locke being dead. Ben confirms that Locke was truly dead. Then Ben says truly didn’t think that Locke would come back to life for dead is dead. It scares him that Locke is walking around, but I don’t believe that entirely. I think he was just messing with Sun to make her not trust Locke. Then they hear rustling in the woods and Ben thinks it’s his fate. Nope, it’s Locke. Locke says that the smoke monster isn’t coming so we should go to it. Ben says he doesn’t know where it is, but Locke says he does. Chilly.

Locke tries having a conversation with Sun, not like he had too many before. He tries to assure he is the same man that he was prior.

Flashback to a few months ago with a chipper Ben calling Widmore saying that he’s going back to the island today. Widmore says that won’t happen, but whatever. Ben says that he shall succeed right after he kills Penny. She’s on the boat Our Mutual Friend right now. That was the name of the Charles Dickens book that Desmond needs to read. He said that is the last book he will ever read. So right before the hatch was going to explode, he opened it up to find a letter from Penny telling him never to give up. Great moment.

Yet flashback to the island where Ben asks Locke how he knows where the smoke monster is. Locke just knows, apparently. Ben keeps probing, but Locke laughs for they had switched positions on the show. Locke has the information and Ben has to follow blindly. They keep on trekking and arrive at the Temple. We see that mysterious wall once again. Yet apparently it isn’t the actual temple. The actual Temple is a mile beyond the wall. Locke says we’re not going into the temple, but under it. They look into the hole that we saw the Smoke Monster pull the French team into. Before Ben goes down, he soberly begs to Sun that she apologies to Desmond for him. Then he goes down.

Back to the docks. Ben pulls out a gun and walks towards Penny. Desmond yells at him so Ben shoots him right in the groceries. He falls to the ground. Ben moves to Penny with his pistol pointed at her. He says he’s sorry but this has to happen. Baby Charlie comes out of the boat and Ben can’t go through with it. He puts down his gun, but it doesn’t matter for Desmond pops back up and beats the living poop out of Ben and throws him into the sea. That’s how he hurt his arm. 

Back on the island, Lapidus returns to the smaller island. He finds out the Ajira survivors have found guns so he asks Illana about that. She of course has a gun pointed at him. She and some other dude ask him twice “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” Lapidus, like everyone else, is rather confused. So they hit him with the butt of a gun. Now I think these Ajira people are more than they appear. Yet we have only heard that sort of code used once before and that was when Desmond was looking for his replacement for the Swan. Could they be working for a new age Dharma? That’s my guess.

Back under the Temple wall, Ben and Locke walk down a creepy hallway. It seems like an Egyptian tomb. Ben confirms that he wants to be judged for Alex’s death not for breaking the rules. Ben blames himself for Alex’s death and wants to be answered for it. Ben says he can take it from here and starts to lead the way, but falls down beneath the floor. Ben looks around and sees this mysterious room—no surprise there. It once again has this very Egyptian feel with more symbols on the wall. There was one that was rather interesting. We had our good friend Anubis who I talked about previously and a symbol that looks like smoke monsters. Ladies and gentlemen, foreshadowing.

Then he looks down at all of these holes in the ground. His torch goes out as the smoke monster comes out of the holes and surrounds him. It’s like he’s in a pool of smoke as it rises up and encompasses him. It starts flashing around him. We’ve seen this before. When Juliet and Kate ran from the smoke monster in Season Three we saw it do those weird photograph like flashes. He sees clips from previously in this episode with Alex and Widmore. Then there’s some clips from Alex last year when she truly hated her fake father. To see Ben react to her death a second time was just fantastic. Seriously this is amazing acting because he has to be at a green screen for all of this. The smoke fades away into the holes. His torch flames up again and Alex is standing there. She walks over to him. He says how sorry he is and how it’s all his fault. She says she knows and then throws him up against a pillar. She yells at him that she already knows he’s planning on killing Locke again. She says that if Ben doesn’t obey Locke she will hunt him down and destroy him. Lovely. Then she simply disappeared. Locke then appears at the hole and throws down some rope. He asks what happened and Ben responds: “It let me live.”

L O S T

So that was interesting. It was a great comparison to what happened with Mr. Eko. His dead brother came up and asked him if he was remorseful for his sins. Eko said nope and then the smoke monster killed him. There’s some connection between the dead people and the smoke monster. Now it’s not like Christian Shepherd and John Locke who can walk around all the time without disappearing. Or maybe there is? I really don’t know. I think it’s interesting how all the dead bodies we’ve seen talk have had their bodies physically on the island. (Eko’s brother, Ana Lucia, Alex, Charlie, Boone, and even Horace.) I do believe there’s a connection there. Well next week we have Miles in the foreground in the greatest title of anything ever: “Some Like It Hoth.” Get excited. 

Review: Afraid

It’s no secret that Jack Kilborn is actually JA Konrath and if it was I’m very sorry for spoiling that for you. I mention this because I’ve noticed something different with his writing for the last two books. With Fuzzy Navel and his new horror book Afraid, he likes the amp up the pacing to an amazing degree. I’ve enjoyed the pacing of his previous books, but with these it’s like you need a five minute water break. 

In this novel, a helicopter crashes in a small town. Once you get beyond that bizarre concept, the book gets really good when we find out there is a team of programmed killers inside the chopper and they are going to cause hell in the town. Yes I thought the helicopter crash seemed out of place, but the programmed killers seemed acceptable. What follows is a hybrid of The Terminal Man, the Stephen King miniseries Storm of the Century and Fail Safe.  Also a much needed reminder that I ought to read more horror books; they are a lot of fun.

Film Snob Episode #6 - How to Watch a Film

Hey everyone. Now as some of you know I have a reoccurring segment on The Reel Deal, which is an on campus TV show at Ball State University. I pitched them a rather goofy concept. The Reel Deal typically deals with movie reviews and entertainment news. So my concept was that I play a fictionalized version of myself who is a self proclaimed "Film Snob." Then every episode in a very satirical manner "I" teach the audience how to be more like "me" with educational lessons where ultimately nothing is learned. 

So last week we aired the sixth episode of Film Snob and I finally got them all up on YouTube. They had already been posted on Facebook, but now more people are able to check them out and I'm able to post them on my blog. So here is the latest episode for your viewing pleasure...

If you're interested, you can see the rest of the series here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ARileyL

Explaining LOST - Whatever Happened, Happened

“Whatever Happened, Happened”

 

So it’s a Kate episode. This is going to be beyond awful. This will be trash TV. Let’s just see how this disaster starts off. When we last left this show, one of the most beloved characters just shot an innocent child in cold blood. Wow, this show is dark. Jin wakes up with a headache and answers his walkie-talkie. Jin tells Phil on the other end that Sayid went north and then he tends to Young Ben who is hanging on for dear life. Jin puts him in the (Ooo ooo) Dharma bus and drive back to the Barracks. Horace is explaining what is going on to the rest of the group. Jack asks how Sayid could have broken out and Horace snaps at him for speaking out of turn. Then he explains that he had help from one of the people in Dharma. At this point I decided to loudly say to the screen, “Sir, I think it’s Ben!” but he didn’t respond. Then I realize that I’m so silly. How can he hear me? He’s in 1977. Then I also realize it’s just a TV show and I decide to sit quietly to myself for awhile.

Meanwhile Ben’s dad asks Kate to work this winch for him. Kate is offended for a second and then realizes he wasn’t calling her a wrench. Yet she does that little cutesy shrugging her shoulders to remind everyone that she doesn’t know anything about being a mechanic. I hate you Kate. Jin’s learned English; why can’t you learn car stuff? Turns out the job is really simple. Flip a switch down and then up. Obviously Kate finds this challenging. Ben’s dad asks about Kate in a rather flirtatious manner, which made me think of a brand new theory. Young Ben is not actually the Ben we know. Sayid kills that Ben. Kate and Ben’s dad get it on. Kate gets pregnant. They name the child Ben after the son he lost. Thanks to Kate’s genes this child is the evil one. Another reason why I don’t write for the show. So Jin comes back with Young Bloody Ben and Ben’s Dad is upset. 

Flashback to 2005, when Kate has been off the island for maybe a couple of months. She’s with Aaron at somebody’s house. Aaron easily out acts everyone in this scene, because he’s adorable. Kate starts singing the song “Catch a Falling Star and Put It In Your Pocket.” Of course you all remember the Claire episode from Season One when she’s meeting the possibly adoptive parents for Aaron. All she asks is that they sing to Aaron that song. Nice touch they had with this episode, but too bad Kate is insanely unlikable. So who’s house is it? It’s Cassidy! Okay I’ll explain. This was Sawyer’s ex who had his child. They aren’t on good terms anymore and Sawyer has never seen his daughter. Cassidy and Kate crossed paths as well when Kate was trying to see her mom. Now Kate is there because Sawyer sent her.

Kate gives Cassidy a whole lot of money and decides to reveal the giant secret she is supposed to keep. Funny. I didn’t hear the part in Jack’s speech about how they have to lie to save everyone where there are exceptions. Hmmm. Nobody likes Kate. So Kate finds out about Sawyer’s daughter and says that he told her to take care of her. That’s a lot of pronouns. Cassidy asks why didn’t Sawyer come back with them and Kate tells the story about how he jumped out of the chopper. Cassidy says that was cowardly of him, which is actually a really fresh take on the action. I still think it was an act of bravery but it makes perfect that Cassidy would see it in that way. Yet despite all of the truth telling, Kate still lies about Aaron. Cassidy calls her out on it. Kate says she “has to” lie about that part.

Back in 1977, Sawyer is checking their TVs for Sayid. Kate comes down and asks what’s up. Sawyer tells her to get out because she’s a lowly mechanic and a bad one at that. Okay I added the last bit, but it was in his tone. Horace comes down and wonders what Kate is doing there as well. Aren’t we all asking this? She finally leaves as Sawyer and Horace investigate the crime scene. There is one clue that is almost neon, which is the janitor keys still in the lock. Horace realizes they only have three janitors on staff: Jack Shepherd, Roger Linus, and a guy named Willy who I can only assume has the last name of Pyburn. Sawyer tells Miles to hold our heroes in a house to keep them separate from everyone. He then proceeds to check on Young Ben where he sees Roger, Ben’s Dad, waiting outside. Turns out his keys are missing. I think Sawyer is this close to breaking this case. Juliet is operating and no one seems to question that she is supposed to be a mechanic. Young Ben isn’t doing so well. She doesn’t have the skills to fix him. Only a real surgeon. Like Jack.

Meanwhile Miles has gathered Jack, Kate, and Hurley into a house. Miles says it’s not house arrest. “You’re free to leave, but I’ll shoot you in the leg.” I like Miles. He’s nothing like Kate. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The writer’s credit finally appeared on screen. Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse wrote this episode? They are the executive producers of the show. They are the ones who have mapped out the whole series and they write the best episodes. Hmmmm. Maybe this won’t be a bad episode. NO! It’s about Kate. I hate her. This will be bad. So Hurley starts to examine his hand. He fears that he’s about to fade away like in Back to the Future. Miles says he’s an idiot and says time travel doesn’t work like that. Sayid always shot Ben and Ben always grows up. That’s how history played out. Hurley doesn’t get it, but Jack does. Sawyer busts into the house and tells Jack that he needs him to work on Ben. Jack says nope. Sawyer says that Ben will die if Jack doesn’t help. Jack still says nope. Seriously this is dark stuff. Also I’m not sure Jack truly understands the Hippocratic Oath because he breaks it all the time.

So Sawyer goes back to Juliet with no additional help while Kate brings up the valid point of that Ben is an innocent dying child. I mean, it’s not a valid point. Kate is bad. Jack says it doesn’t matter. Ben lives in the future and this has nothing to do with him. He says that 30 years from now Ben will ask Jack to operate on him and Jack will do it for Kate. He’s already done this once. Jack also brings up the Locke-ish point of what if the island is trying to fix everything itself and he’s just getting in the way. Kate says she doesn’t like the new you. Jack brings up the excellent point of “You didn’t like the old me, Kate” which was a fantastic point. So Kate walks out because she does that.

She goes to Juliet to give Ben some of her blood. Roger busts in there asking what is going on. He ends up hanging out with Kate while she gives blood. Roger puts two and two together and realizes that Ben got Sayid out of jail. He asks Kate if she has kids and she actually says no. She learns that Ben’s mom died at childbirth and hears about how Roger failed as a father. This really makes her sympathize with Ben, which is an opportune time because Ben starts shaking and whatnot.

Meanwhile awesomeness is ensuing. Hurley still doesn’t get time travel. I would describe it, but honestly the dialog is so fantastic that I would just end up writing a transcript. It’s like Daniel Stern in City Slickers. He will never get out to program the VCR and Hurley will never learn time travel. I’m also thinking the actor that plays Hurley (Jorge Garcia) doesn’t get it either. The only point Hurley makes that stumps Miles is why doesn’t Ben remember getting shot by Sayid in the future.

While that hilarity is going on, Kate and Roger are waiting outside of the hospital. We don’t see it, but I’ll imagine flirtatious dialog occurred. Juliet interrupts by saying that Ben is doing better, but still not great. Roger leaves to get supplies. Juliet says that there’s nothing she can do to save Ben. Yet she thinks of an idea. Perhaps the Others can help. That’s chilly. Does anyone else kinda like how Kate is wanting Ben to live and doing the right thing? I’m so conflicted.

So Juliet and Kate get Ben out of there like some crazy heist film. Actually they just go out the back door. Still sneaky. So Kate hops into an (Ooo ooo) Dharma Bus and drives into the jungle.

Flashback to 2008, when everyone is on the dock earlier this season. Kate leaves that dock and goes driving. Aaron is thirsty and tells Kate that he wants some milk. As every comforting parent would do, Kate decides to continue to drive in silence. Not even Radio Disney was on. So they go to the supermarket where Kate asks if he wants chocolate milk or regular milk. Aaron replies “Juice box” officially proving he has an abnormally low IQ. She asks a clerk who is putting away Gatorade where the juice is. Instead of just pointing to what he was putting away, he directs her to the other end of the store. For what normal place would juice boxes near the Gatorade? LOST really is one crazy show. Kate’s phone rings and it’s Jack. She refuses to answer and loses Aaron. This kid was a sprinter. Like he should have been two baby steps away but he gets to the other end of the store. Some lady with blonde hair who looks so much like Claire was taking him to security. That was some awesome casting but I had to do a double take. 

Back in 1977, Kate drives up to the Killer Stonehenge or sonic fence. I like my name better. Another (Ooo ooo) Dharma Bus drives up next to Kate and it’s Sawyer, which is good because Kate doesn’t know the code to turn off the Killer Stonehenge. Don’t know what her plan was for that. Anywho, Sawyer is there to help not stop Kate because Kate’s actually doing the right thing. My mind can’t handle this.

Flashback to 2008, when Kate and Aaron are visiting Cassidy again. Sawyer’s daughter, Clementine, opens the door and invites them in. Kate and Cassidy chat about how they are going back to the island and how crazy that is. You know what would be really crazy? If you time travel back to the 1970s! That is never brought up. The supermarket scene is brought up and Kate admits she was relieved when Aaron was gone. She admits that is pretty sad. Cassidy says that Kate originally took Aaron because she needed him. Sawyer broke her heart and she needed something to fix it.

Back in 1977, Sawyer turns off the Killer Stonehenge. Kate asks why Sawyer is doing this. He says that Juliet says it’s wrong for a kid to die (Thank you Juliet!) and so he’s doing it for her. Kate realizes that is exactly what Jack was talking about earlier so she knows his devotion to Juliet. So hopefully there is no more romantic rectangle going on here. So with Ben in Sawyer’s arms they go off into the jungle while Juliet is about to go yell at Jack. He’s taking a shower when Juliet interrupts him. Juliet is mad that he wouldn’t help Ben when he was dying. She says that it’s now up to Sawyer and Kate to save him. Jack says that he came back here to save them, but Juliet says that he came back here for himself. I love the progression of these characters and how they are trying to resolve so many of their inner struggles. It’s great stuff. 

So Sawyer and Kate are trekking through the jungle, much like the first four years of this show. At this time Sawyer finally gets to learn about Clementine. Sawyer comes to term with a lot of things and admits that he has grown up the past few years. He also mentions how he and Kate wouldn’t have worked out, which seriously should put an end to this romantic rectangle. Right? Yet all of the hostiles pop up with their guns a’blazing. Sawyer says he wants Richard Albert now. Don’t we all?

Back in 2008, Kate is at a hotel and it’s Claire’s mom’s room. Kate walks in and admits that Aaron is her grandson. She says that Claire is still alive somewhere on the island. She admits they lied about everything. Claire’s mom asks why didn’t Kate bring her Aaron in the first place. Kate admits that she needed him. She says that she’s now ready to pass Aaron off to her because she’s going back to the island to find Claire. Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit. I actually like that reason. Actually I love that reason for her not having Aaron with her. Still no reason not to tell Jack, but I know that was for suspense. They play one of my favorite themes as Kate says goodbye to Aaron in a surprisingly good scene. 

Back in 1977, Sawyer and Kate are walking with the hostiles when Richard Albert awesomely comes out of nowhere. Kate asks him to save his life. Richard is confused to who she is, but moves past it. He says “If I take him, he will never be the same again…what I mean is that, he’s going to forget this ever happened and that his innocence will be gone. He will always be one of us. Still want me to take him?” They say yes and Richard takes Young Ben. One of the hostiles comes up to Richard and says they shouldn’t do this without telling Ellie and that Charles could find out. Richard says he doesn’t answer to them and takes Ben into the jungle. Now remember Ellie was the blonde chick who had Faraday at gunpoint when he was investigating the bomb and Charles is Charles Widmore. I guess they are in charge of the Others right now. What makes this more interesting is that it’s likely that Ellie is Eloise Hawking, Faraday’s mom. Dun dun dun.

So Kate and Sawyer head back to their camp while Richard walks with Ben. He approaches the very mysterious Temple and somberly walks into it. Flash to present day on the island where older Ben is now waking up to see John Locke sitting next to him. Ben looks very surprised and gets very scared when Locke says the fantastic final lines of “Hello Ben. Welcome back to the land of the living.” Locke does not look amused.

L O S T

So I ended up really liking this episode. As much as I didn’t want to, I ended up liking this episode and being to sympathize with Kate. Sure she may annoy me a lot but I no longer hate her. LOST is very tricky like that. Now next week will be insanely epic. It’s definitely about Ben and I’m not going to tell you what the previews say. Seriously this will be beyond epic.