Monday, March 30, 2009

Explaining LOST - He's Our You

“He’s Our You”


Okay so let’s just start with the pre-show. Not for you, for me. I was called into work at the last second last Wednesday so I missed the show. Yet right at ten o’clock I get a call from my dad and a text from my friend. I had to literally lock myself in my dorm room to avoid talking about “this crazy ending.” I finally did find it online a few hours later and now I’m going to properly watch it in HD.

Previously on LOST we get a lot of Sayid scenes, which gives us a rather good hint on who this episode is about. We start in Tikrit Iraq which gives us another big hint. Some dude tells a kid to kill a chicken or he will be punished. The kid looks sad while carrying this giant (and rather clean) butcher’s knife. Then another kid comes by with some seeds and coaxes a chicken into his grasp. Then he breaks the chicken’s neck. I love shows I can watch with my whole family. Second kid offers the chicken to the first kid, but the first kid confesses to the dude. Of course the second kid is Sayid. This is pretty much the exact same flashback for Mr. Eko.

Back in 1977, Sayid is chilling in his cell while Ben is back with another sandwich and a book. The book is A Separate Reality. I haven’t read this book, but apparently it’s this trippy book dealing with reaching a higher plane and seeing reality in a different light. It also has a lot of passages dealing with the warrior’s way. Ben said that he read this twice. This helps explain why he’s all nutty in the future. Anywho, so Ben asks Sayid about Richard. Remember Sayid said that he’s a hostile and Ben really wants to join the Others because his father is a jerk. Yet Richard said that Ben must be patient before he can join them. So Ben is seeing Sayid presence as his ticket into the Others.

Back in the present some dude is running in Moscow. He’s nervous and hiding int a room. He runs to a safe and pulls out some cash. He offers it to Sayid who was the one chasing him. Yet alas, Sayid don’t want no moolah and shoots him. Then he walks out of the building because he’s awesome. He meets up with Ben who is wearing such a fantastic hat. Sayid asks who’s the next target and Ben says no one. They’re done. Sayid feels rather lost. He asks “What do I do now?”  

Back in 1977, Horace is there to visit Sayid. He has a cutting tool. Yet he uses them to break his handcuffs. Nice guy. Yet Sayid won’t talk to the nice guy. Radzinsky wants to know if Sayid saw the model for the Swan station (The Hatch). Yet Horace is more concerned if Sayid is in conflict with the Hostiles. He doesn’t know if Sayid is looking for solace or is a spy. Sayid has one hour.

Meanwhile Sawyer and Juliet are having a delicious looking breakfast. Yet Juliet is distracted by Jack and Kate. Who isn’t nowadays! Juliet fears that it’s all over. Their relationship, their nice lifestyle, all of it. Sawyer promises that he has it under control. I think it’s been taken for granted, but these two actors really pull of the relationship well. It’s amazing that they went from one episode as sorta friends to another where they have a three year history together. I’m buying it with their interactions. Yet Horace comes in to ruin a sweet moment. Still a nice guy though. Horace is worried why Sayid violated the mysterious Truce. He suggests they take him to Oldham. Sayid doesn’t like that idea so he goes to visit Sayid alone. He busts in there and then asks how he’s doing. Then Sayid gives the line of the night “A twelve year old Ben Linus just gave me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I’m doing?” Well put. Sayid asks how can he live with that kid. Sawyer says it’s quite easy. So he opens the cage and punches Sayid in the head. Wasn’t so nice, but Sawyer had good intentions. He wants it to look like he finally got some information out of him. Yet Sayid refuses to play this game and wants to be on his own.

Meanwhile Hurley is now a Dharma chef who in just a few days is already an expert in all of their food. Everybody loves Hurley. He gets Jack and Kate something to eat. Kate wants info about Sayid stat. Jack says he doesn’t know anything. Kate snaps that he was at Sawyer’s last night, so he must know something. Jack says nope. So Kate says that she’ll get something out of Juliet. Hurley’s confused. He says that Juliet and Sawyer are “together. Like not as roommates” Like Jack and Kate were. Somehow this slipped past Kate, who as we all know is a brilliant tracker for no apparent reason. Okay I no longer like Kate. Like at all at this point. I was good for several seasons. Even most of this one, but no longer. Why should they tell her anything? Does she not remember any season prior to this? She didn’t tell anyone anything. She kept all sorts of random secrets and when she did tell people it was under specific instructions not to do that. She’s such a bitch. Sorry Memaw. Meanwhile Jack is still cool. Also there’s a Geronimo Jackson poster in the background. Yep. Also right now there’s a free Geronimo Jackson song on iTunes entitled “Dharma Lady.” Yeah I have it.

Across the way, Sayid is still in prison. Yet Ben’s dad comes by to mop up. Yet of course he has to give his two cents. He’s shocked that Sayid got caught by these Dharma idiots. Then Ben comes by with another sandwich. He’s surprised to see his dad there so he says that he made the sandwich for him. He beats on Ben for a little bit. Ben leaves and then the dad throws the plate against the wall and leaves as well. Well that was stupid. You know in ten minutes he’s going to walk back in and has to clean up the mess he just made. Stupid Dharma janitor.

Back in the present, Sayid is in the Peace Corps in the Dominican Republic. Sorry, not the Peace Corps. Something almost identical to the Peace Corps with a different name. Whatever he’s building something. Yet his Spider sense goes off and he notices that Ben is behind him. He’s here to tell Sayid that John Locke has been murdered. He forgot to mention that he killed him, but whatever. Ben says that everyone must be in danger again especially because there are people waiting outside Hurley’s mental institution. Sayid is a bit offended that Ben came all this way to suggest that he kills more people. Ben shrugs and gives a speech about it’s in his nature. “You’re a killer Sayid.” Sayid says that’s not true. So Ben leaves.

Back in 1977, Horace is back ready to take Sayid away. Sawyer whispers that he was one more chance. Alas, Sayid is silent so Sawyer is forced to taser him. Now I wish that Sayid just took it and didn’t fall to the ground, but that’s why I don’t write for the show. They go on a (Ooo ooo) Dharma bus ride to Oldham. Now it has come to my attention that some of you don’t know what the hell I’m doing with the (Ooo ooo)s before the phrase “Dharma bus.” It’s quite simple. I’m taking the song “Magic Bus” by The Who and replacing it with Dharma. Yes I think of that song whenever I see those buses. I’ve been doing this since Season Three. Anywho, Oldham is this creepy looking dude who is living inside of a teepee. Sayid asks who that man is. Sawyer responds, “He’s the co-host of Legends of the Hidden Temple.” No, of course he said “He’s our you.” What do you know! That’s the name of this episode! How about that? So they tie Sayid up to a tree and then they give him some LSD. Seriously. Oldham says this will make you tell the truth. This bothers Sawyer.

Back in 2008, everyone is on the dock just like a few episodes ago. We find out that Sayid went from the dock to the bar where he’s ordering another MacCutcheon. Uh oh. If I mentioned the drink by name that means it probably has been on the show before. Bravo readers. Yes this drink is Widmore’s favorite drink. In fact he gives a long monlogue about it to Desmond back in Season Three saying that Desmond shouldn’t drink a drop of it because it would be a waste. For Desmond is a coward or something. So it has come up a few times now. This is what Desmond, Hurley, and Charlie drank when they all got drunk on the beach one episode. Anywho, Ilana shows up. She flirts with him a little bit and then Sayid does the classy move of asking if she’s a prostitute. How does this guy end up with so many women? Sure most of them end up dead or trying to kill him, but who doesn’t have that problem?

Back at Oldham’s, Sayid is tripping. Oldham asks him a series of questions and Sayid answers them truthfully. He says he’s not a hostile. He says he came on Ajira flight 316. He says he was on the island for 100 days and then he left. Oldham thinks that stuff is silly so he asks about their Dharma stations. So he rattles off all of the ones he knows: the Flame, the Pearl, and the Swan. Now he says the Swan was to study electromagnetism before the Incident. Now we know very little about this mysterious incident. We know something bad happened at the Swan and this is why people had to push that button every 108 minutes. That is all we know about it. I think it’s very good odds we’re learn more about it this season. Like really good odds. Like 100%. Anywho, Radzinsky gets all nutty and says that Sayid must be a spy. How did he know what they were going to name it? Blah blah blah. Radzinsky reminds me of Ned from Groundhogs Day. Bing! Sayid then says in a creepy tone that they all are going to die. He knows this because he’s from the future. Then he creepily laughs. Apparently this was the first time Sayid has laughed since the very first episode.

Meanwhile Juliet is showing Kate the ropes at the Dharma car shop. Kate looks annoyed. So they have a very very awkward scene. Luckily Sawyer comes back with Sayid. Sawyer sees Juliet and Kate together and does the smart thing, which was to get the hell out of there. So the rest of Dharma security has a meeting to decide what to do with Sayid. Needlenose Radzinsky says that they have to kill him. Sawyer says pa-shaw. Radzinsky blabbers for a bit more before saying that if they don’t decide quickly he’s calling Ann Arbor. What? A specific place? Yes it connects to this insanely awesome mythology. Ann Arbor is where the DeGroots are from. The DeGroots are the founders of Dharma. We have never seen them. Then Michelle Dressler comes in with her baby. She gives this mini-speech about how she doesn’t feel safe and how they need to protect the children for they are the future. So they all vote to kill Sayid. Sawyer votes nay, but Horace asks nicely for it to be unanimous. Sawyer changes his mind because Horace is such a nice guy.

Yet back in the present in a flashback…man that’s confusing. Whatever, Sayid is getting it on with Ilana. Then she kicks him in the face and beats him and then points a gun at him. Sayid takes a second to wonder if this is some weird sex thing for her, but then realizes that it’s not. Turns out she’s a bounty hunter hired from the family of the guy Sayid killed on a golf course last year. So she’s taking him to Guam. Why Guam? No clue. I’m sure Ben’s behind all of this.

Back in 1977, Sawyer offers Sayid a free hit in the face. He wants Sayid to get out of here because he still doesn’t want him dead. Sayid still won’t play Sawyer’s game. So he just chills in the cage. Sawyer goes over to Kate’s house because he obviously wants some more hostility. He asks her a very simple and direct question of “Why did you come back to the island?” I repeat: IT’S VERY SIMPLE AND DIRECT. So how can Kate get out of answering this one? Sure she can stall, but stall until what? HOW ABOUT AN (OOO OOO) DHARMA BUS ON FIRE DRIVING THROUGH THE TOWN? Touché Kate. Touché. Sawyer and the rest of humanity is confused about this. Yet Sawyer is a good leader and apparently Dharma has water hoses all over the place. Seriously they have like five separate ones within a few feet. So Sawyer, Jack and everybody plays firefighters. So then Phil decides to stop guarding Sayid and go help with the fire. Stupid Phil. This gives young Ben plenty of time to bust Sayid out of jail. Sayid says he’ll take Ben to the hostiles, because that’s why he’s here.

Back in 2008, Sayid is getting on Ajira flight 316. He is getting a bit paranoid because there’s Jack and Hurley and Kate. He begs for the next plane, but Ilana says no. At least she didn’t kick him in the face for asking. Then he sees Ben getting on the plane and now he’s super pissed. He asks if Ilana is working for Benjamin Linus. She seems genuine about not knowing who that is.

Speaking of that awesome devil, young Ben lets Sayid go in 1977. They go running through the woods kinda like Cool Hand Luke, except cooler. Ben trips because it’s the cliché thing to do. Then an (Ooo ooo) Dharma bus drives by and it’s Jin on patrol. He’s confused on to why Sayid is out of his cell. Sayid says Sawyer let him out, so Jin wants to double check that. Sayid doesn’t like double checking so he knocks out Jin. Then Sayid takes Jin’s gun and…we all know what happens now. He shoots young Ben in the chest. Young Ben falls face first into the mud while Sayid runs away.


Now let’s breathe everybody. I want you to say this next part aloud: “Ben is not dead.” Seriously he’s not. Yes I think he’s one of the greatest characters on television, but he’s not dead. Why isn’t he? Because that’s not how time travel works on this show. Whatever happened, happened. (Hey that’s the title of next week’s episode!) None of them can change anything because they were always part of what made the present events. Sayid always shot Ben back in 1977. That is probably the major thing that made Ben such an evil-ish character. He is so happy that he can finally join the Hostiles, but is then shot by one of them. Now there are two scenarios that can happen. One, Ben gets resurrected a la Christian Shepherd or John Locke. Then there’s another option, one that I’m leaning towards. He’s in critical condition and will be taken back to Dharmaland. Then Jack or Juliet will operate on him and by doing so will blow their cover. We’ll find out this week on a…Kate episode. Expect lots of spiteful humor next week. They better have a really good explanation for Aaron. Really really good one.

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