Thursday, May 19, 2011

Film Yap: The Roommate

The following are all actual, chronological quotes from the film and bonus features.

“We tend to spike the punch”—Charming romantic lead

“I got you, I got you.”
“Who has you?”
“That would be me.”
“And who has you?”
“I guess that would be God.”—Witty dialog

“Is that your boyfriend?”
“Ex. It’s complicated.”—Dialog right before explaining the whole situation in under 20 seconds

“Let’s just say nothing is free at my house.”—Stuff people regularly say without any follow up question.

“This is my roommate, Rebecca.”
“Rebecca? How formal.” –Understandable because Rebecca is way too formal and if you don’t want to have one of their lame nicknames you’re probably a psychopath.

“It’s my job… to make you understand…that each of you…can be artists.” –Dialog perfect for Billy Zane.

“Frienderz” –Not Facebook. Seriously, it’s not.

“Clubs aren’t really my thing.” –More evidence someone is a psychopath.

“Do you accept a collect call from Sara Matthews?” –First sign to question what year this is.

“I want to show you something. This is my favorite.” –Something you shouldn’t say before showing a really demented painting unless you’re secretly a psychopath.

“It’s my older sister. She died when I was nine.” –Understandable justification for tattooing the name Emily on your breast.

“I know I probably broke like 40 different dorm rules but I can’t take it to a shelter, I just can’t.” –Inaccurate dialog because your room is so huge you’re living in a fantasy dorm anyway.

“Next time.” –Perfect wording to cancel a date via text. Oddly this wasn’t the psychopath.

“Something is up with your roommate.” –Understatement

“She was sitting outside my room like some psycho.” – What? NO!

“All the money in the world can’t buy you style.” –Of course Billy Zane will make that line sound wistful.

“How did you know when my class got out?”
“I’m your roommate.” –Psychopath! Oh wait, no that’s actually a good answer.

“Sara, last night I was just worried about you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” –- END OF MOVIE?

“You’re quite critical of a view.” –Sadly they’re not casually talking about lousy Roger Moore Bond films.

“Creeping…I can feel it breathing…” –Subtle lyrics

“Who was that?”
“My roommate. She can be a little overprotective.”
“Sounds like fun.” –Turns out it’s not.

“My design professor just kissed me!” –Overreaction; it’s an honor to be kissed by Billy Zane.

“There is a psycho walking around this campus!” –Assumption that she’s actually going to class. So far she just goes to the library.

“This is your home?”
“This is my parent’s house. It was never a home when I lived here.” –Another comment that doesn’t need a follow-up question.

“She’s taking her medication?”
“Well you girls have a lovely time.” –Totally normal dialog with your roommate’s parents.

“I love you so much.” –Definitely the words of someone who would be able to recognize the girl he loves from more than one tattoo.

“All I ever wanted was to be your friend.”
“I am your friend.”
“No you’re not!” –Touché

“Ahhhhhhhh!”—The film, not the audience during the “scary” ending.


“Quite a bit of the population has gone to college and had a roommate and it could go really good or really bad.” –Minka Kelly accidently being insightful about her film.

“It’s an edge of the seat thriller.” –Cam Gigandet not being insightful about his film.

“Seeing [Leighton Meester] going all the way is beautiful to watch.” –Director Christian E. Christiansen accidently being creepy about his film.

Film: 2 Yaps

Extras: 2 Yaps

1 comment:

  1. Billy Zane has definitely improved his announcement of a walk-off.