Thursday, June 10, 2010

Film Yap: What If The A-Team Were In More Movies?

One of the charms of the A-Team is their ability to plan the most elaborate and convoluted way to pull off a mission. Their methods are incredibly ridiculous, but surprisingly effective. So effective they make other movies seem lame in comparison. It sometimes takes the characters 90 to 150 minutes to pull off their plans. It makes you wonder what would happen if the A-Team were in other films. HMMMMMM……


Ilsa and Victor need to get out of Casablanca so they hire the best team in Morocco. Rick spent too much time stressing about those exit visas. That’s only useful if you want to work with the Nazis. Face will keep an eye on Captain Renault while he is at the poker table. He will eventually let it slip that Ilsa and Victor are planning on hopping on a plane right now. Renault will race to the airport with his men to the airport. But it’s not Ilsa and Victor but instead B.A. in drag and Murdock. They fight through the Nazis and steal a plane. Back at Rick’s, Hannibal and Face start hooking up the necessary wires to Sam’s piano. Isla and Victor come out of their hiding spots and they hop atop the piano with Hannibal and Face. Murdock takes his plane and flies through the city Casablanca destroying most of the buildings in their way. The plane hooks onto a metal loop outside of Rick’s. Before Rick can even remind Ilsa of Paris, the wire connecting the loop to the piano powerfully drags them out of the bar and into the air. As everyone holds on for their lives while the piano hangs underneath a small plane, Hannibal lights up a cigar and says “I love it when a plan comes together.”

Home Alone

Actually that’s how they would have handled the solution as well. But at the end, Hannibal will light up a cigar say “I love it when a plan comes together.”

It’s a Wonderful Life

This is a two-part mission. Step One: Retrieve George Bailey from an alternate universe where he doesn’t exist. Step Two: Defame and destroy Mr. Potter. Now we all know Murdock is an excellent pilot. With just the mixture of explosions and sawdust Murdock can use his helicopter blades to rip apart the fabric of reality. Using a wreath as a lasso, they can catch George Bailey off the bridge. No worries about Clarence chasing them because he doesn’t have any wings. They cross through their artificial wormhole and onto the second step. Hannibal appears at Mr. Potter’s house with an interesting investment opportunity. Mr. Potter is such a greedy fellow he wants the money so they head to the office. But low and behold they pass by George Bailey’s business and it’s on fire. Hannibal grabs hold of the wheel and slams the car into flamed building. Mr. Potter flies through the windshield and then B.A. punches him midair. Face is about to get rid of Mr. Potter’s car when he discovers the 8 thousand dollars. He gets out of the car and demands to know where this came from. Mr. Potter tells everything. It is that moment when Murdock tears off one of the walls of his building where there stands George Bailey in his family wearing flame-retardant suits. George ponders for a second and then pulls Mr. Potter out of the flames. He takes him to the frozen lake and slides him to the center. His hot body causes the ice to melt and Mr. Potter falls in. George stares and then walks away. Then Hannibal says “I love it when a plan comes together.”

The Lord of the Rings

They fly to Mordor. Murdock does a deep dive. They toss the ring in. Then using the fire from Mount Doom to light his cigar, Hannibal says “I love it when a plan comes together.”


For most of the movie WALL-E is was racing around trying to find a small plant. As adorable as that robot was, he wasn’t very efficient. Now if the A-Team was there in the future—and honestly why wouldn’t they be—they would get the job done. First step is to get control of the Axiom. After a lighthearted construction montage, they create a bunch of giant magnets to attach to the underbelly of the space cruise. Now all of the robots are stuck to the floor as well as the hoverchairs for all of the humans. Murdock moves their space ship to one of the sides of the Axiom and the rest of the team breaks in. B.A. destroys every robot in their way as they follow the map towards the plant. (They received all of that intel off screen.) Hannibal and B.A. grab the plant, WALL-E and Eve. They give the signal and Murdock turns off the magnet. Everyone is free, but the magnet wiped the hard drive of the central computer. This causes the ship to being to crash. They have to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet. What do you know? It’s Earth. Using abandoned hoverchairs as floating roller skates, the A-Team move uphill to their exit point avoiding all of the random explosions. They jump out of the hole in the side of the ship and float back to Murdock. As humanity rediscovers Earth, Hannibal further ruins the atmosphere by lighting up his cigar and says “I love it when a plan comes together.”

1 comment:

  1. nice blog.. have a view of my blog when free.. leave me some comment / guide if can.. if interested can follow my blog...