The following text
messages took place between 2:25AM and 3:30AM on June 4th. Spoilers
from Season Two.
Austin: Finished
Game of Thrones. Very awesome. Great last scene.
Pedro: That’s
what I was talking about, we had seen the white walkers before, but now we saw
the true king beyond the wall.
Pedro: Speaking
of…
Pedro: I think
Jon Snow will end up true King Beyond the Wall, whatever that brings.
Pedro: And the
dragons were awesome. When it was done I was thought wow, how easy.
Pedro: And Arya’s
wolf still lives presumably, and she should definitely have joined the Faceless
Men.
Pedro: And I mean
not white walker for Jon Snow, but new/final king beyond the wall.
Pedro: And then
the north will be tamed and Dany and Bran will wed and their daughter/son will
be lord of dragon and wolf and Dany’s child will still be the Station who
mounts the world and there will be peace and happiness for all til the end of
time.
Pedro: And Ayra
will have her wolf back and become Bad Ass Assassin No. 1, and rule the world.
Pedro: And kill
Joffrey and Cersei and all the bad people.
Pedro: Except the
good ones.
Austin: And
Robb’s army kills all of them.
Pedro: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Austin: IT WILL
HAPPEN
Pedro: He lives
happily ever after with his new wife on a farm raising turnips.
Pedro: And little
cows and horses and sheep.
Pedro: And little
carrots and children and little direwolves and dragons and little assassins and
little mages.
Pedro: And be
foster family to the world and its little critters.
Pedro: all on a
super quaint, cozy little farmhouse
Pedro: on their
own little island.
Austin: UNTIL
STANNIS BREAKS OUT AND KILLS THEM ALL!!!
Pedro: AND NO
MORE KILLING AND WAR
Pedro: NO MORE!
Pedro: HE’S ONE
OF THE BAD PEOPLE!
Pedro: HE WILL
HAVE BEEN KILLED BY ONE OF THESE PEOPLE
Austin: No more
giants waging war. Can’t we just pursue our lives with our children and our
wives ‘ til that happy day arrives? How can we ignore… [Editor’s note: Austin decided to quote the musical Into the Woods out
of his own amusement, to mess with Pedro and because this is now 3AM.]
Pedro: IT WILL BE
HORRIBLE AND AMAZING
Pedro: OR ALL OF
THEM AT ONCE
Pedro: WHAT THE
HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ALL THE BAD PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!
Pedro: Phew.
Austin: You okay?
Pedro: …and they
lived happily ever after.
Pedro: Oh, and
Tyrion will be president.
Austin: Tyrion
sides with the Lannisters. He is a bad person. He would be killed.
Pedro: HE’S NOT A
BAD PERSON.
Austin: He fought
for Joffrey and defends his throne. His a bad guy. He wants to kill the Starks.
Pedro: YOU’RE A
BAD PERSON
Pedro: YOU WANT
GOOD PEOPLE TO DIE
Austin: And you
are my friend. YOU’RE A BAD PERSON
Pedro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Austin: You play
the game of thrones, you win or you die. No ties.
Pedro: HE DOESN’T
Pedro: DIE
Pedro: SO HE
Pedro: WINS
Austin: Nope.
Dany wins. He can’t win too. He dies.
Pedro: No, he’s
not playing anymore. Daddy said so.
Austin: He won’t
leave the city. He’s still playing.
Pedro: BUT HE
NEEDS TO HE JUST SAID
Pedro: SO
Pedro: AND THAT’S
WHY HE’S PRESIDENT
Austin: He will
die. Bran and Dany and Robb don’t like him. Dead.
Pedro: He can play
all day and it won’t mean anything.
Pedro: …YEAH THEY
DO
Pedro: he have
Bran a seat, and helped Robb’s
crippled little brother.
Pedro: And Dany
only hates the Usurper and maybe Tywin for killing the king’s childr…Oh.
Pedro: HE LIVES!
Austin: Dead.
Pedro: LIVES
Austin: Until
Joffrey’s new fiancé stabs him before Dany can return to Westeros.
Pedro: Don’t call
George yet.
Pedro: OH SHIT I
FORGOT ABOUT HER
Pedro: I HAVE
CLASS
End of Transmission
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