Film Yap: Tooth Fairy

We all know puns are easy. Right now my mind is racing as I think of how to connect Tooth Fairy to root canals or gingivitis. I could not have been one of the five screenwriters for this movie because I am thinking too much. In this movie Derek (Dwayne Johnson) has several puns about his situation. They are hilarious like “You can’t handle the tooth!” or the brilliant “I pledge allegiance to the tooth.” Oh man. I had to stop typing for a bit in order to catch my breath.

You may be wondering: Okay obviously this movie has the humor down pat, but what about the plotting? Plotting is important and if the premise doesn’t make sense, then the whole movie may not work. Well don’t worry! Since Derek made a comment to his girlfriend’s daughter that the tooth fairy may not be real, he is forced to serve as the real tooth fairy for two weeks. Apparently tooth fairies exist secretly, which confused me to no end. If tooth fairies are real and they are the ones putting the cash under the pillows, shouldn’t every parent know that tooth fairies are real since they aren’t the ones doing it? So then why does being a tooth fairy have to be a secret? Also what the bloody hell do they want with all of those teeth? No, no it does not run Fairyland (I kid you not) because apparently that is fueled entirely by people believing in the tooth fairy. Want Fairyland to be prosperous? Stop going through all of these absurd ways to keep this job a secret! I digress. I am clearly not as smart as the five screenwriters.

I do understand that kids movies are meant to be fun. Plots don’t have to be logical and profound; they just have to be entertaining. Tooth Fairy isn’t, though. Yes Stephen Merchant and Billy Crystal (who is oddly uncredited) provided some surprising smiles from what appeared to be improvisation. Aside from a few of those moments, I can’t image kids actually liking this movie. There are so many awkward silence pauses and situations that are just bizarre. Why would kids enjoy a confusing subplot about why some fairies don’t have wings? Why would kids like an ongoing erection metaphor? Why would kids like a Seth MacFarlane scene where he plays a shady drug-dealing fairy?

This movie makes so little sense and each scene is just propelled towards the next set piece. The film even stops caring about the set pieces because some of the magical acts they build up to aren’t even on-screen. Johnson tries to save a few scenes with his charisma, but too much of it becomes undeniably embarrassing. Kid movies don’t have to be like this. If the studios treat children with a degree of intelligence, they may actually create a movie that will be remembered and adored after the kids have grown up. Sadly, this is the type of movie that will make kids no longer excited to lose their baby teeth.

http://www.thefilmyap.com/2010/01/23/the-tooth-fairy/

The Film Yap

So I have an exciting piece of news. I'm now writing reviews and articles for this great website called The Film Yap. It's a cool website composed of a lot of writers I respect, like Christopher Lloyd and Joseph Shearer. I'll be reposting my articles on this blog, but I strongly recommend you check out their site every day. I really like the "Heroes of the Zeroes" project that Nick Rogers is doing. He made a list of the best 365 movies of the last decade and every day he releases a new review.

My first review went up last weekend and I felt a bit of hazing with their assigned movie...

Book Review: Alone

If you follow this blog or know me at all, this will be the most boring review for you. I read Loren Estleman’s latest book, Alone, and I loved it. Of course I loved it! This is the second novel about Valentino, the “film detective” who works for UCLA to find lost films. At a costume party he meets a wealthy man who has the famous short that has Greta Garbo’s first on screen appearance. As most mysteries go, a dead body must appear. This time it’s the tycoon’s assistant.

The mystery is well done, as expected from Estleman, but what really shines are the Garbo love and the character advancements. Throughout the book, various characters bring up her movies and the Swedish beauty in general. She truly was one of a kind. It’s hard to find such on screen elegance like that anymore, even when she’s in a comedy like Ninotchka. In Alone, there’s a nifty subplot that debates one of the big questions surrounding Garbo. Like I mentioned earlier, a pleasant surprise was seeing the characters evolve in an interesting format. At this point I can come to expect good stuff featuring Valentino and his girl Harriet. However what I really thought shined brightly was the plotline involving Broadbent, the older film historian who is searching for a proper drive.

I know this book just came out a month ago, but I already want the next entry. I wish this was a famous series and I can go to a bookstore and find the next twenty in the series waiting to be devoured.