Film Yap: Jackass 3.5

The following DVD review was written by a guest writer, the acclaimed director Werner Herzog. In addition to making such great films like Fitzcarraldo and Grizzly Man, Herzog was also shot mid-interview and proceeded to continue the interview. This is totally not a parody.

Never before in the history of cinema has ones own mortality been examined through a lens protected from rogue bottles of diet cola. In their 7/2th expedition into the unknown, the “Jackass crew” continue to question what is suicidal and what is aspiring to be like gods. Do they wish to die or to live forever?

They appear joyous as materialized in their filmic opening with them running through the city with suitcases. Yet before some of the most horrific stunts, like the alligator snapping turtle’s encounter with Steve-O’s bare buttock, there is a look in their eyes of fear and regret.

For the first time, majority of the experience is spent with commentary by these men about what happened. They are foreboding and amused. Most of all there is pain. One poor soul, Dave England, critically harms himself so frequent that I have to imagine there is rarely a night where he doesn’t cry himself to sleep.

Is there humor from their pain? After every escapade, there is cheering and laughs and screams. They damage their scrotums, but are they damaging their souls? Scars and bruises make them like Greek mythical heroes, but when they lie on the floor whimpering they are like mice. When a stunt fails, were their prayers answered or does this further distance them from a protecting God?

Their sets are constructed circles of hell. The men live in a perpetuating state of paranoia and misery as their colleagues conspire against them with tasers and physical assaults on their genetalia. The film no longer becomes a film but an existence for these unfortunate creatures who shall not escape this lifestyle until they fall victim to it.

Its companion piece, their third theatrical forte into the unknown, has the more satisfying existential quandaries. 3.5 expands the mythology of their catastrophic psychological labyrinth and the childish minotaurs who rule within. With hope, a fourth exploration will be sailing into cinemas before too long.

The DVD documenting this trial is equipped with even more deleted scenes, outtakes, and more footage of their origins and continuations throughout time.

Film: 3.5 Yaps

Extras: 3.5 Yaps

http://www.thefilmyap.com/2011/06/13/jackass-3-5/

Film Yap: Haven Season One

Haven is a show I’ve been rooting for even before it was picked up. There was a podcast that started years ago called Sam and Jim Go to Hollywood. It was about two men who left their restaurant business to move west and try to become television writers. Their podcast documented their struggle and gave advice. They were very nice and engaging guys. When they finally got a job, it was a great moment of triumph.

One of the things they often talked about was a pilot they had written based off a Stephen King novella. The novella was a book I liked called The Colorado Kid. It’s an odd one, but it gave an enormous amount of attention to a new publishing line called Hard Case Crime, a fantastic throw back to older pulp collections. A TV show will give even more attention to them.

Finally it happened. It looked like it could be with ABC, but it ended up being Syfy who turned The Colorado Kid into Haven. The result has its handful of flaws, but nothing too disastrous.

The show is about FBI Agent Audrey Parker (Emily Rose) who arrives in Haven, Maine to discover a lot of freaky supernatural things are going on. Entertained by the “weird stuff” and determined to figure out how this town connects to her missing mother, she decides to stay.

Every week she and her partner Nathan (Lucas Bryant) figure out how to stop what sort of freaky activity is plaguing the town whether it is all of the food instantly becoming rotten or men rapidly aging to death. The content is light and fun, but the show is missing the opportunity for its creepiness.

Everything is too bright on the show instead of having a few more shadows and mystery. The special effects are very under budgeted and sometimes become campier than they ought to be. (Audrey gets cocooned by a mystical blanket in Episode 2.)

It’s difficult to have a mystery when the world is so expansive with its mythology. The greater story holds more interest than a monster-of-the-week that could be werewolves or witches or another supernatural option they haven’t thought of yet. Buffy had her Hellmouth, Stephen King has Maine. Weird things will happen, but they can never be solved by the audience. Especially when it’s always because people are keeping a secret just to be mysterious.

The end of the season has quite a fun cliffhanger that will hopefully lead the show into a more serialized direction. Until then, this DVD set is a fun show to try out. It’s not great, but it’s working towards being “pretty good.”

The DVD and Blu-Ray has a lot of commentaries for the episodes including a lot by Sam and Jim. There are a few featurettes, blogs, interviews, and a sneak peak towards the next season.

Season: 3.5 Yaps

Extras: 4 Yaps

http://www.thefilmyap.com/2011/06/14/haven-season-one/

Film Yap: The Glades Season One

It is a show like The Glades that makes shows like White Collar and Psych look so much better. All of these shows focus on being light with characters that are always amusing while they solve a mystery within the hour. Except The Glades falls short in the “light”, “characters”, “amusing”, and “solve” parts.

Charisma-less Matt Passmore plays Detective Jim Longworth. As every opening credits explains, he used to be a cop in Chicago. Then after a stupid incident, he decided to move to Florida to work on his tan and golf game. For some reason he didn’t think that people would get murdered in Florida. Even in the promo for Season Two, he’s still surprised that beautiful people in bikinis die and he may actually have to do something as a homicide detective.

Like every other show he is constantly wisecracking, sees himself above everyone else, self-described genius, and will break the rules to solve the case. This type of personality could be charming if it was someone like Hugh Laurie or James Rodney was the know-it-all, but the writing and Passmore’s performance makes the character completely unlikable and obnoxious.

It doesn’t help the entire show is built on how much of a “wildcard” he is. Carlos Gómez plays a medical examiner who is friends with Longworth, but all he gets to do is to be frustrated with his CRAZY ANTICS and talk about those crazy antics for the rest of the episode. Kiele Sanchez (LOST’s Nicki) is a nurse that Longworth is obsessed with. They have “banter” but they will never actually be a couple because she doesn’t want to divorce her inmate husband for the sake of her child. That means they will forever be in “will they or won’t they” TV limbo.

Truly, most of this will be excused if the show succeeded at being the light show it desperately wants to be. It’s not funny and the mysteries don’t really make sense. He’s not much of a detective if he verbally accuses every single character and then it ends up being the random secondary guest actor in the last few minutes.

With so many elements not working, this can’t be a show to casually watch during the summer or something to have on while you’re working on something else. It’s just frustrating. It looks like a likable show, but it’s treating the audience like we’re idiots.

The special features include deleted scenes, audio commentary by the cast and crew, a couple of featurettes talking about how great the show is, and of course a gag reel. Oh actors not being able to remember lines.

Season: 1.5 Yaps

Extras: 2.5 Yaps

http://www.thefilmyap.com/2011/06/11/the-glades-season-one/